Outside Monogamy - Balancing Autonomy and Connection
A monthly discussion.

Wed, Apr 21 at 6pm

  • 18+
This event has passed.

This discussion group explores topics relating to relationship anarchy, polyamory, swinging, consensual non-monogamy, monogamish agreements, and creative and conscious relationship structures. Join the conversation on third Wednesday’s where we will explore the myriad styles of relationships available to those who wish to embrace the power of “and”. 

April’s topic: Balancing Autonomy and Connection

This month’s moderator(s): Sophia Sky and Sar Surmick

April's discussion will explore the intersection of autonomy and connection within multiple relationships and non-monogamous communities. Sar Surmick, Director of the Consent Academy, will share some thoughts around autonomy and start us on a discussion to answer questions such as: how much do we emphasize individual autonomy when a larger group is affected by our actions?


  • Participants agree to only tell their own stories and respect the autonomy and confidentiality of others. (Only share info that you have explicit permission to share.)

  • Respect differing points of view and ways of moving through the world. 

  • Honor expressed boundaries with acceptance and clarifying questions that increase your ability to respect stated or implied boundaries.

  • Curiosity and questions are encouraged.


General timing of meetings:  

Gathering and settling in - 6-6:10pm
Agreements and introductions: 6:10-6:30pm
Main topic - 6:30-7:15pm
Resource sharing and Off-topic Q&A - 7:15-7:30pm

About the Facilitators: 

Sophia Sky identifies as a Shenaniganarian and uses she/her pronouns. She is the Executive Director of the Pan Eros Foundation and is working to change the world’s ideas about sexuality by speaking at universities, conventions, and private groups around North America. Sophia believes that being sex positive means respecting the spectrum of sexual expression from asexual to omnisexual. She is a lover of art, cute socks, learning, and floating on bodies of water.    

Sar Surmick brought the Consent Academy together in 2016 as a way to advance consent education in Seattle and across the world. With over 20 years of education experience and a strong belief that consent creates a backbone for safe and productive interactions, Sar has worked with the Pan Eros Foundation, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, Camp Ten Trees, and a variety of other organizations to promote and educate about consent. When not directing the Academy, Sar works as a Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in Identity, a Sex-positive Educator, and a writer.


•This is an online event via Zoom. You must register in advance. Registration ends at 5pm on the day of the workshop. Instructions for access will be emailed to you before the workshop begins. 

•Class time is listed in Pacific Time. Use this Time Zone Converter to see what time the class will be for you: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html 

•No late entry will be allowed due to the intimate nature of this event. Access will be blocked at 10 minutes after the start time. 

•Open to all 18+  

•All sexes, genders, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, relationship orientations, religions are welcome and celebrated. 

• FREE event, $5-$10 suggested donation will go towards making future educational scholarships available to those in need.  

•Questions may be directed to: information@pan-eros.org

Please let us know by email if you have any access needs or things that would aid in your learning.

online via Zoom

Seattle, WA

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