Outside Monogamy - Privacy or Secrecy?

Wed, May 19 from 6pm - 7:30pm

  • 18+
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This discussion group explores topics relating to relationship anarchy, polyamory, swinging, consensual non-monogamy, monogamish agreements, and creative and conscious relationship structures. Join the conversation on third Wednesday’s where we will explore the myriad styles of relationships available to those who wish to embrace the power of “and”. 

May's presenter: Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti

May's topic:  "Is it private? Or is it a secret?"
This month's discussion will be in a presentation and Q&A format.
From growing up with an abusive father who would occasionally listen in on her and her sisters' phone conversations (thus violating their privacy), to a church that forced Gloria to admit that she masturbated, to having a long-term relationship with someone who treated her as a "dirty little secret," the differences between privacy and secrecy have provided Gloria with a long time inquiry that continues to this day.
In this class, participants will learn:
  • Whether it's ever okay to go through your partner's phone.
  • Why not being "out" as polyamorous, non-monogamous, or a swinger is still no excuse for acting weird when you run into your partner in a public setting (in other words, treating your partner as a "Dirty Little Secret").
  • How private jokes can cause bonding, while secrets have the opposite effect.
And much more!
About the Guest Speaker:
Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti has been a panelist and workshop presenter since 2017, beginning with the very first workshop she ever created, "Transcending Shame." And even though she's mostly a presenter, that does not keep her from learning. For example, when she began researching the topic of shame, before teaching about it for the first time, she learned, among other things, that shame lives in secrecy.
Gloria is currently hard at work on her memoir entitled, "A Different Drum: A Black, Autistic, Polyamorous, Mentally Ill, Former Fundamentalist Christian/Cult Member and Breast Cancer Survivor who just wants to fit in." You can find Gloria on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/GloriaJacksonNefertiti/) and on her website, "Not Gloria Jean" (notgloriajean.net). She lives in Seattle, WA.


  • Participants agree to only tell their own stories and respect the autonomy and confidentiality of others. (Only share info that you have explicit permission to share.)

  • Respect differing points of view and ways of moving through the world. 

  • Honor expressed boundaries with acceptance and clarifying questions that increase your ability to respect stated or implied boundaries.

  • Curiosity and questions are encouraged.


General timing of meetings:  

Gathering and settling in - 6-6:10pm

Agreements and introductions: 6:10-6:30pm

Main topic - 6:30-7:15pm

Resource sharing and Off-topic Q&A - 7:15-7:30pm


About the Facilitator: 

Bio coming soon!     


•This is an online event via Zoom. You must register in advance. Registration ends at 5pm on the day of the workshop. Instructions for access will be emailed to you before the workshop begins. 

•Class time is listed in Pacific Time. Use this Time Zone Converter to see what time the class will be for you: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html 

•No late entry will be allowed due to the intimate nature of this event. Access will be blocked at 10 minutes after the start time. 

•Open to all 18+  

•All sexes, genders, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, relationship orientations, religions are welcome and celebrated. 

• FREE event, $5-$10 suggested donation will go towards making future educational scholarships available to those in need.  

•Questions may be directed to: information@pan-eros.org

online via Zoom

Seattle, WA

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